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flirting, the art of
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building confidence on dates, how to flirt, guide to flirting, flirting
increases your chance of success, events4singles, events for singles |
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MAKE THE RIGHT MOVES
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The finer
points of social intercourse........... |
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The art of flirting is not only the preserve of the rich, beautiful and
exceptionally confident, nor do you have to be a wanton women or lecherous
Casanova to participate. With a little bit of practice and some sound advise,
flirting is available to everyone – best of all, it can be a powerful social
weapon when used for good instead of evil. Did we mention it’s great fun,
builds confidence, can win you lots of friends and is a playful yet sure-fire
way to test the waters when it comes to romance? |
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But enough
of this shameless teasing, come hither and we whisper some tips in your ear that
will ensure you’re not, in fact, flirting with disaster. |
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New social situations fill most people with
fear and while some of us are adept at bluffing it out, the greater portion
of the room will usually prefer to stick with the people they know, or hide
in the shadows praying that someone will talk to them – in extreme cases,
praying that they won’t. Taking the dreaded first step is always a tough
one, requiring great reserves of mental strength – or at least a tall glass
of Dutch courage. But according to the experts it’s all in the way you
approach it.
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When people grasp the concept that to be a
great flirt you pay attention to the other
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Person rather than drawing attention to
yourself, it becomes more appealing, especially to people who are not
particularly socially confident.
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Shift your attention to making somebody else
feel good, you’ll be pleasantly surprised that when you make somebody else
feel good, they will often return the favour.
Breaking the ice is undoubtedly the hardest
part of meeting someone new, so what do you actually say to get the ball
rolling – presumably, “Remember my name, you’ll be screaming it later” is
not a great opener?
“Start with hello, then go out on a limb, you
should tell that story, the one that makes you look like a dodo. Once you
reveal yourself as human you’ll help others feel relaxed.”
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Sounds
simple, huh? Take your glass of wine, stand next to someone and smile
encouragingly at him or her as they talk about themselves. Eventually they’ll
run out of things to say and start being nice to you instead. But without using
camouflage and sidling up to someone like a Russian spy, how do you put yourself
in the right position for that conversation? |
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Good flirts make other people feel special and enjoy doing
it. “Flirts love people and notice what makes them tick.” They also have a great
attitude, one that is relaxed, fearless and outward looking”. Treat it like a
game, to win you just need to get then to smile back.” According to the
experts, coaxing yourself into the kind of relaxed and playful state of mind you
need for successful flirting needn’t require a personality transplant if you’re
not usually the gregarious type. All you have to do is change your attitude by
being conscious of your negative thoughts and changing them to positive ones.
Most of us don’t approach others because we fear rejection, but flirting reduces
this risk, as you’re simply putting out feelers to see what response you get
before you put your heart on the line. Getting in the right frame of mind will
definitely make it easier to get out there and say hi.
To be playful
you just have to think playful. Maybe there’s a song that energises you, or a
memory that makes you feel good. Conjure them up in your head and you’ll be
surprised at that little kick of energy and enthusiasm you get. Our advise is
not to use fake plastic bre3asts or a false moustache as your props – way too
much room for error. But certainly having a few tunes that will build your
confidence is ideal given the normal social conditions most of us operate in.
When most people think about flirting they concentrate on
romantic context. However at it’s heart, flirting is simply about making people
feel valued, and in return for this you’ll be remembered and liked; an ideal
scenario for the workplace and everyday social interaction.
Flirting is
useful in business, when you flirt with someone you pay them a compliment and
compliments can grease the wheels of industry. Don’t confuse this with browning
or being overly effusive of course, but it is good noticing other people and
being interested in them. Sincere, rather than saucy. As your mother probably
told you ,”it does’nt hurt to say something nice.”
It’s important to keep in mind that you need to be
careful when flirting, particularly in the workplace – signals can be
misunderstood if you aren’t clear. “Never cross the line or be sleazy,” This is
particularly true of email flirting; you must be careful not to be lewd or
overtly suggestive they may come back to haunt you. Sending colleagues a digital
image of you wearing just a big smile, for instance, is probably a tad too much.
Flirting is not
all about achieving a romantic goal, flirting when done well is natural
communication where you focus your attention on the other person. It makes
people notice you – not for you’re your great feats and accomplishments, but
because you come across as a genuine and intelligent human being. Everyone wants
someone to listen to them and to remember who they are – it’s one of the
greatest compliments there is.
When flirting is great for testing the water of romance or
for planting yourself favourably at work, it can also help keep the fires
burning in a long-term relationship.
Flirting keeps relationships – new and old fresh and alive....
So what’s the best advice for getting out
there? “Nothing ventured nothing gained”, it costs nothing to smile or pay
someone a compliment.
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